WRITING PROMPT: The year is 2030, and the entire world is firmly under the control of the Australian Empire, and no one really understands how it happened.

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"Oy mate, you look like yer askin’ for a bit of a wallopin’! Ye keep lookin’ at me like that, I might take a bit of offense!"

I take a step backwards as an Australian guardsman sits on his kangaroo steed, looking majestic and intimidating as fuck, ’bout like all their kind do these days. Rearing his arm back threateningly, he aims a pine-cone right at me face.

I take a quick hop backwards to ‘void that deadly lookin’ pine-cone he’s gonna whap me with."Sorry, officer. I didn’t mean nothin’ by it."

"’Course you didn’t, mate. Now git’ on outta here, don’t let me catch ya starin’ at me ass ever again!" The guardsman hacks a massive loogie and spits it right at me feet as he blunders away. Fuckin’ asshole, thinkin’ he’s god’s gift to the world or some shit. His ass wasn’t even that nice if ya ask me.

I continue on me way back to work, but I ain’t lettin’ him rile me up. I don’t even remember when these jackasses took over, but I remember it happened real bloody quick. It was like some bomb went off, y’see? A cultural bomb. One day we was all talkin’ like normal people, then suddenly big fuckin’ spiders started appearin’ in places they shouldn’t, and when I saw a killer lookin’ millipede pop outta fuckin’ nowhere, that’s when I knew shit was goin’ down.

As I arrived at the train station, there was the usual chums there hangin’ about, sayin’ g’day to each of their mates as they usually do. Me girl Melissa though, she wasn’t there today. I kinda got a bit of a crush on her, and I was hoping we were gonna get together for this Valentines day. Guess it’s not on the books.

"G’day Michael, how’s it been hangin’ in your neck o’ the woods?" Rick glances over at me and chucks his familiar greeting out.

"Oh you know, bit o’ this, bit o’ that. Almost pissed off a real wanker of a guardsman on the way here. He spit at me feet, damn near soiled me best work boots!"

"I hear ya! I’m workin’ at the factory these days, gotta make sure I’m doin’ me part to help the economy. Having healthcare for everyone means we all gotta chip in, ya know!"

I nod at Rick as I stick a ciggy in me chaw. "True blue at that, Paul! Having actual healthcare is heaps good compared to how it used ta’ be." I light up my cigarette as I glance over at a wall of non smoking ads. Naw, fuck that noise, you ain’t never takin’ away me nicotine, I’ll tell ya that right now.

Rick returns the nod as his tram pulls up. "Right, mate. I’ll be seeing ya around this neck o’ the woods. Have a good one, Michael!"

"Back at ya!" Rick quickly boards the tram as I toss me farewell at him. Things are so much faster paced ‘n this new society. I have ta say, things seem a lot better than they used to be just a few years ag-

"AHHHH! A HORDE OF CROCODILES IS ATTACKING! EVERYONE GET OUT OF THE TERMINAL!" Some sheila zips past, her body havin’ a bit of the hooblies and wooblies as she trips over her own feet like the clumsy broad she is. Sure enough, right on her bloody ass a dozen crocs come stumblin’ down the stairwell into the terminal, makin’ mincemeat of some poor bloke who was too busy listenin’ to his earpods to notice. Real shame, that was.

I reach down for my piece, only to realize I ain’t got no gun anymore since the fuckin’ guardsman confiscated our guns. That’s alright, no big deal. I watch as everyone flees the terminal and the crocs come chargin’ at me. Ain’t no problem though, when your name is Michael. J. Dundee!